Illness Doesn't Stop An Uchiha
by RandomDustBunnyzAngel
Summary: But this might.  Being sick is bad enough but being sick while something much, much worse is going on? including ear screeching cooes coming from a criminal in need of therapy? That's a nightmare come to life, just ask Madara.  Warning kind of pointless


**Summary: But this might. Being sick is bad enough but being sick while something much, much worse is going on with you, including ear screeching cooes by a criminal in desperate need of therapy, that's a nightmare come to life. Just ask Madara. (Warning kind of pointless, but fun. It's a Halloween fic that has NOTHING to do with Halloween)**

**Warnings: Foul language**

**I don't own Naruto Masashi Kishimoto, tvTokyo and VIZ media do.**

**Author:Author:Author**

**Yes, Mada-sama get's some time!:D Ah yes I love this guy in case you don't know. And I haven't written anything for him in a long time, so I figured why not post this (which I only just recently wrote ) Besides this'll be my halloween oneshot. I might do something similar to this with Madara and Izuna as children.**

**Ps: Audio issues with the Storm 2 video's I was going to upload, have put them on hault. So I'll put the characters list here!**

**The main Protagonist, shikamaru, Naruto (including Hokage Naruto), Kakashi, Sakura, Tsunade, ect.**

**Killer-Bee, Sasuke, The Akatsuki, Team Taka, Chiyo (Should've been replaced with Young kakashi in my opinion), Minato and Lars from Tekken 6, Why he's there in place of Obito, I don't know -_-.**

**00**

**Illness Doesn't Stop An Uchiha**

**00**

Bipolar Konan stepped into the room of her boss, the fierce, the immortal, the all around bad-ass Madara Uchiha. Who was currently laying in his bed with a bad case of the mini sniffles. (You'll get it in a minute)

Poor guy.

"Madara, sir, are you feeling any better?," A loud groan of pain told her no, no he didn't.

Madara was not having a good time, his throat was sore, his nose was stuffy, his eyes where blurry, puffy and red -it brought back some bad memories- he was as wet as Amegakure during the Rainy Season from sweating so much, he couldn't talk without sounding like an idiot without a tongue but worst of all...

"Here you go Mada-chaaaan," Everyone was treating him like he was a six month old infant that couldn't even go potty without sombody being there to make sure he wouldn't hurt himself.

There was only one bathroom related incident in which the Uchiha cracked his head on the tiled wall, but he had a hangover, it wasn't his fault the room was spinning after he comanded it to stop.

Oh and by everyone was treating him like a baby he meant everyone, including Konan, Itachi -that was a suprise- even Deidara who hates him with every fiber of his being! Was cooing over him. Normally he'd bash their heads in for treating him in such a manner.

Luckily for them, this wasn't a normal situation.

Madara let out a muffled cry as a cold spoon was forced into his mouth and left behind a very unwelcome guest of Orange flavored medicine, Ha orange his ass it tasted like death covered in dog crap, "'tupid 'rochimaru," He muttered laying back down in his fluffy bed covered in large pillows and thick blankets, His voice was high pitched even more so than Tobi's.

Yes he had been turned into a little kid, temporarily of course, by a potion slipped to him by the snake sannin, it hadn't been perfected yet (There was note explaining everything) so it was probably used as more of a prank than something used to carry out one of his many vedetta's.

The sad reality of this situation was that he didn't even know how Orochimaru found out he was alive, he had done everything to keep his identity a secret, and yet in the end he had not only been turned into a child and been found out by all of the members, but it appeared he had been outsmarted by _OROCHIMARU._ His name alone sparked fear in the hearts of villagers all across the globe.

Oh yes he was well known for his monsterous ways of torturing people and kidnapping children to use them for his experiments. But he wasn't exactly an Uchiha Genius like the Elder Uchiha was. And that deflated his ego down into a tiny nub which shrivled up into a raisin and burrowed its way deeper into his heart everytime he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror that hung on his closet door.

Speaking of closets. It was about that time again.

"Alright Mada' It's time for you to change clothes," The paper user smiled down at his six year old form.

"_Joy_," Madara muttered sarcastically rising from the bed in a strong manner like he had always done.

He held his head up in pride as he strided to the end of his end, where he stood waiting for Konan to make her move.

"You need more color ranges! All you have is black!," Konan tsked throwing shirt after shirt over her head, piling them up on the floor which grew in size as the raven headed boys eye twitched.

Making a mess in his room. Yet another thing to add to the list.

"Ah here we are!," The angel held up a bright orange kimono decorated with red flames that he had been given back in his youth for his birthday.

It was a gag gift from Izuna. he only wore it once, you can probably guess when that was.

"Dno," Madara said simply, quirking an eyebrow at the woman as she held it up in front of his face.

"But you can't walk around looking all emo,"

"I can and I will," He didn't even know what the word meant, he'd been called that before, and when he asked what it was he got laughed at and they got dead(1), cause that's what happens.

"You are going to put this on,"

"No I'm Not,"

"Yes.." A smirk cut Konans face in half, "You are,"

In a burst of speed that made Madara step back in suprise Konan popped up behind him and put him in a choke hold, dropping the kimono, she then began to rub his head of poofy hair with her fist.

"Wh-what are you doing?~! My hair's already fucked up!," The Uchiha had never been so grateful to be the victim of the dreaded bed head.

"Oh right," Onto plan B, The blue haired woman sucked on her index finger for a few seconds before pulling it out of her mouth and bringing it closer and closer to struggling boy, his eyes widened knowing what she was going to do.

"No! NO! DON'T YOU DAR-!," Madara pressed his lips into a fine line and tried to block out the uncomfortable wet feeling in his ear.

"You will wear it," Konan said slowly, wiggling her finger to add some extra fuel to the fire.

He squirmed and, with his pride shattered, finally gave in, "Fine I'll wear the damn thing!,"

"Good boy," Konan smirked, releasing her captive.

She picked up the Kimono and shoved it into his arms, he grumbled and stalked into the bathroom, shooting a glare at very satisfied Konan before slamming the door.

He came back out a few minutes later, wearing the bright kimono along with a frown that would make a newborn get wrinkles.

"Now I know how you got those frown lines," The bluette commented, taking in the blending colors of charcol black and orange. They went well together in her opinion.

Madara's frowned deeped even more. He didn't feel good and now he had to wear this stupid thing, at least it was nighttime and nobody else besides this little paper pest would see him.

"Mada-bee, hmm,"

This was proving to be a sad, _sad_ day.

"What is it brat?," The raven haired boy crossed his arms and shrugged his head to the side in a very Sasuke like fashion (Like old generation like new generation)

Deidara gave a lopsided grin and walked into the room, carrying with him a plate of the Uchiha's favorite food, "I thought you might be hungry, yeah," he said.

This immediatly caught Madara's attention, he peeked out of tha corner of his eye and the entire upper-half of his body went limp.

His stomach twisted and grumbled at the sight of the food, Inarizushi, browned stuffed plumped tofu dripping with shining amber syrup presented on a snow white rectangular plate making the colors stand out like blood red Camellia in december, a bit of drool threatened to dripple out of his parted lips, It looked _so _good, and he was _so_ hungry. he clenched the front of his kimono, his visible eye glued to the delicious delicacy.

Deidara picked up a morsel with a pair of chopsticks he let it hover just a few inches above the plate, he watched the chibi's eye follow it up and down, then side to side, even around in a circle. The bomber chuckled, a picture of Madara with a stick attatched to his back desperatly trying to reach for the baggy of Inarizushi dangling procariously in front of him, popping into his head.

"Do you want it Mada?," Konan asked like she most people talk to their babies.

"Yeah do you shrimp?, hmm,"

The irrisistable urge to smack Konan and knock out the blond headache, taking the treasured food for himself and running outside to eat it in a bush crossed Madara's mind for a second, but he quickly shook his head free of it.

"Yes please," he answered the two taller ninja in the most humble way he could.

Shocking said ninja.

"Okay then, uh here, yeah," The Iwa-terrorist passed the small boy the food.

"Thank you," Madara climbed up onto the bed, carefully balancing the plate on his open palm as he quickly situated himself so he was sitting under his covers, he put the plate on his lap, "Thank you for this food," he clapped his hands and quickly got to work shoving down the food like there was no tomorrow.

"That's weird...You think the fever's messing with his head?, hmm," Deidara asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh," Konan grunted, just as confused.

They watched Madara slurp down the last of the stuffed tofu pouches and give a sigh of content, his stomach was full and while he was lost in the moment of eating his sore throat had temporarily vanished.

Ah yes the perks of being sick.

With a pleased smile and her previous shock gone, Konan suddenly laid down next to him.

Feeling the heavy weight Madara twitched and opened his eyes, shooting her a small glare.

"Alright Maddy time for bed," she said in a taunting tone.

He looked to the door where Deidara stood watching, smirking all the while.

'_Idiots,'_ Madara snarled inwardly, shifting himself down underneath the covers to lay down despite the uncomfortable feeling he had in his gut. He wasn't nervous or anything stupid like that, he was pissed off and un-use to someone being in bed with him.

'_It's been what...Fourty years?,'_ he thought, narrowing his eyes.

The last _anything_ that even considered sleeping in his bed with him was a cat that he'd found on a mission with Deidara, who promtly threw the poor creature out the third floor window of their hotel room the second he saw it. Even then it was still a cat, a kitten in fact, so women were pretty much out of the question ,cause when you have a mask covering your face and an alternate personality that could make a flightless bird with brain damage look like a genius, you don't exactly get that many offers.

Konan pulled him close and snuggled him to her chest making Madara blush lightly as he was smothered in her cleavage, "Dyoou shouldn't do dis ya know," he muffled, the blue haired girl ignored him and continued to hold him. Chibi Madara shrugged it wouldn't be his fault if she got sick, she was as cold as an ice pack against his feverish body, plus he was secretly enjoying the company.

**One Week later**

Chibi Madara carried a tray of soup into the medical wing, were Konan, Pain and everybody else who had even come in contact with him, was sitting in a metal spring hospital bed moaning in pain like they where having a contest.

"Ohhh Jashin help me," Hidan was winning.

Kakuzu (being the only person not to faun over the little Uchiha hatchling) grunted at his partner, "Shut up idiot, if you keep doing that your throat will hurt even more, and then you might lose your-," he paused for a second, "Never mind," he quickly scurried out of the room past Madara.

"I told you vengance would be mine," he smirked.

"Shud dup Madara(nanana)!," The room chorused.

"Now is that anyway to talk to your leader and care taker?," He put a finger under his nose to hold in a sneeze. He himself wasn't better, in fact, if anything, he was feeling worse than he had the past couple of days.

But this was time to get payback! A cold would not stop Madara Uchiha from getting his vengance.

Suddenly the small Uchiha was overtaken by a cloud of smoke and the sound of an explosion. The others coughed and sputtered as the little chibi grew back into his normal size.

Madara grinned and flipped his hair over his shoulder with a swift motion of his head, "Well what do you know," he chuckled.

The potion had apparently worn off, quite the timing Madara couldn't deny that, he placed the tray on a metal tool table near the door, cracked his knuckles and gave a big grin that would make make a cat jealous.

"Oh no," Konan muttered, staring wide eyed at her boss, "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!,"

**-In konoha-**

Loud screams echoed through out the village, making each villager look up to the sky trying to pinpoint which direction it came from.

Execpt for one blond haired fifteen year old gennin who looked up from his bowl of hot steaming noodles for a second, giving a thoughtful look to the old cook behind the counter, for a moment he just stared.

"You added ginger," he said, squinting his eyes shut and crossing his arms.

The cook and his daughter sweated.

**End:end:End**

**(1) yes they Got Dead. That was soooo stupid.**

**Random Review Question!: If you could get anything you want what would it be? Like no limitations you are offered the one thing you want the most, could be a vacation, a type of food doesn't matter.**

**I think mine would probably be, New video editing software! just messing, I don't know why but I've always wanted to see a voice over session for Naruto live and in person, and maybe kick Vic Mignognia in the happy-sack *kick* "How dare you play over half of the characters in every anime!," (Joking, I love Vic)**

**Thankies for reading I hope everyone has a happy Halloween (if you celebrate it..If you don't, then happy Sunday or Saturday or Monday depending on where you live) please review!**

**Ja ne~!**


End file.
